Matticus was kind enough to nominate me for my first blogging award. It’s kind of cheating because anyone can be nominated for a Liebster award. And what’s more, people MUST be nominated, since you need to nominate a number of other blogs just to accept the award. I found someone who accepted the award  in an “honorary” fashion, so that she wouldn’t have to do the work associated with it. I thought that was smart, but I wanted to play along a little bit and also show my gratitude to my blog friend for thinking of me. And after all it is the first award I’ve won, so that’s special. So I’ve decided not to pass along the award, but I will answer the questions.

1. If you were a knight, what would your knightly name be?

Sir Charlamagne-de-Copenhagen

2. What is your quest?  (What is the purpose of your blog?  What do you write?  What do you get out of it?)

I started it in a moment of boredom and said Fuck it. That’s basically my quest in life, to fuck it.

3. What is your favorite color?  (Seriously just asking about your favorite color.)

Green

4. What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?  (This is sort of a bonus question – Google or Wikipedia might be able to help.  I will accept an answer for either the African or European variety.)

Six billion cubits per milli-eon for African Swallows, while all European Swallows will not take flight if unladen. You have to know these things…

5. What is your favorite Monty Python movie or sketch?  And why?  (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…)

Roman Guard: Crucifixion! Nasty eh?

Old Man: Not so bad.

Not so bad? Crucifixion is the worst punishment imaginable! What could be worse? (paraphrase)

Well, could be stabbed.

Stabbed? It’s over in a second! Crucifixion takes hours! It’s slow, painful torture!

Well, at least you’re out in the fresh air.

… You’re WEIRD.

From Life of Brian. Because of John Cleese pronunciation of “weird.”

6. How much do you hate lists?  (You can answer this question any way you like: comparison, a picture representation, with a list, a number on a scale (out of 5 out of 10 out of 42), etc…)

A list killed my grandfather’s hound dog, who was much beloved by all.

7. If you were a woodchuck, how much wood would you chuck?  (See question 6 for suggestions on acceptable answers.)

Fuck chuckin’ I’d take a nap instead.

8. If you could be any character from TV or film, who would you be and why?  (Moe from the Simpsons so you could own your own bar?  Princess Leia from Star Wars because she looks good and knows how to fight?  Or Beatrix A Kiddo from Kill Bill for that matter?  Indiana Jones because he is awesome? etc…)

Jack Sparrow, duh.