This River’s Full of Lost Sharks

Have you ever realized that you have absolutely zero self control? Not you personally, I mean. I mean me, of course. I have no self control at all. God damn. A motherfucker can waste a day like Clint Eastwood in a field of scarecrows.

Hoo shit. I just woke up and had the day off and said fuck it, you know what I’ve never done before? Watch an episode of Smurfs. Well, that was the last day I could wake up and say that.

Yeah the only control I can exercise over myself is my environment. When I go to work at the restaurant, then I work like a three dollar hooker on a train to Chickasaw Falls on Boxing Day. I’m not lazy at all. But let me sit at home for five minutes and I say fuck it. I don’t even do things that I want to do, like watch movies, because I figure if I start the movie, then I’m stuck there for two hours, wasting time. So I waste time in fifteen minute increments because that way I can foster the illusion that I might start working at any time. It’s the same idea as a snooze button.

I just started playing this game called Clan Wars. It’s a bitch, because I just got an iPhone, and there are games on it. Or I mean, you can download games. I don’t know if ya’ll knew that, but it’s true. And the thing about me is I damn sure can’t be sitting around no game system. If I had an Xbox, I’d play that shit till they cut the electric off.

So now I’m playing this Clan Wars shit and the whole game is just waiting around for your shit to upgrade, but somehow I can waste a whole day watching the upload bars fill up.

Today I left the house right away and occupied this coffee shop for ten hours. I spent eight hours playing Clan Wars and two hours doing the shit I shoulda done last year. That’s the problem with iPhones, can’t escape that shit. I’ll probably never have any control over my environment ever again. Fuck it.

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