I’m home again and it smells bad just like the rest of New York and its noisy just like the rest of New York and I can’t seem to escape the violent assault on my senses. Sister has Gordon Ramsey or Dinner Impossible reruns blasting on her tinny laptop speaker and has made some fermented tofu mold stir fry. She’s walking up and down the floor asking no one, “where is it?” In a hoarse whisper.

The situation is bound to degenerate further as Brother-in-Law from out of town is due here any minute in a surprise visit.

I am insufficiently equipped to deal with this threat as I’ve spent today and yesterday eating different kinds of sugar and not sleeping and entertaining my good friend and besides I’m never ready for the cataclysm that is my Brother-in-Law.