Coffee and Children Don’t Mix

Daily Post: Present-day you meets 10-years-ago you for coffee. Share with your younger self the most challenging thing, the most rewarding thing, and the most fun thing they have to look forward to.

Hey man. You’re ten. What the hell do you know about anything? Just stay that way. Ten year olds don’t need to think about this kind of bs. Don’t know what bs is? What the hell are we doing in a coffee shop then?

Who’s paying for this? I ain’t buying you a coffee, you ain’t got no money thanks to the fact your mom made you buy back all the clothes you left in the floor last week with that pile of quarters you saved by cleaning the bathroom every week. And I ain’t got no money because I spent it all when I was eighteen on eating at Ruby Tuesday’s and a big red car with a stupid oversized muffler. And besides you don’t even drink coffee.

Damn sure your parents don’t want you to be here anyway. Most challenging thing you’re going to do before you turn thirty is not kill yourself for life insurance money. You know what’s rewarding about that? That’s about right, not a goddamn thing. Certainly not going to coffee shops and meeting with little bastards like you.

Most fun thing you have to look forward to is all the times you’ll remember being six, that was fun right? Yeah well don’t tell me about it because by the time you’re my age you’ll remember it as the glory days and there’s no point in you reminding me that it was just as much a kick in the dick as the rest of existence.

Daily Post

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