Wow I have been doing this shit for longer than I thought. Writing, I mean. I mean I always feel older than i am, almost always, but I just realized I’m 28 and I’ve been trying seriously to write a novel since I was 19, and that’s if you don’t count all those ones from grade school. And that one in high school. I got pretty far on that one from high school and it was horrible. And the funny thing about that, just thinking about it now, is that I had these really elaborate characters and I spent forty pages bringing them together and then stopped because what the hell were they going to do now? That’s weird, forgot that I even did that shit.
And similarly I forgot that I have been trying to have a successful blog since age 23.
Last night I was reading through my old documents folder looking for Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, which they used to have on Netflix but then they pulled it and I had to download it. Man I have a shit ton of documents. I have written a million beginnings of stories.
This morning I woke up in a god damned inferno. I turned the heater on last night to like 63 degrees (17 in celsius) and then I woke up this morning and that shit was blasting hot enough to overcome the magnetic repulsion of atomic nuclei.
I didn’t find Cosmos on my computer but I found episode 9 – The Lives of the Stars on youtube. Man that shit is outrageous.
Well, forty minutes here before I have to go to work. I don’t feel sad again, though suddenly I’m broker than I thought I would be. Got paid this morning and it was a lot, 900 dollars, which is about how much I made at the old bartending job, but it wasn’t enough to pay all the bills and still have a comfortable margin. But of course that’s a lot of bullshit, since I put a hundred of it in savings. I never used to save money but I’m old now. Ha, actually I’m ballin out of control compared to those days I was reading about last night. When I was 23, I quit my broke ass no money making job to become a novelist. Yeah seriously! Holy shit what a crazy ass. I didn’t write shit but a lot of angry beta blog rants about how mother fuckers better pay me if they wanted me to keep writing. Hoo! Shit.
Woo and what’s more I ain’t dying out of cancer or incapacitated by tooth pain or incarcerated for reasons beyond my control nor am I in (serious) danger of getting ass raped when I walk out the door this morning. Shit is just about going my way out here.
I know for a lot of ya’ll, the day is half or more over, but enjoy what’s left of it.
Another day of non-sadness eh? Keep up the good work! Whenever i visit my mum i seem to find yet another folder full of scrawled stories or poems or psychological breakdowns. I also have character plans, details about them, sketches even, but then i can’t think up a decent story and they just stay there as well described individuals with no purpose.
Yeah not sad! Maybe something with the weird sleep schedule, don’t know.
Crazy that you come up with characters too. Maybe we should both find someone who sucks at characters and is good at plots. Maybe I’ll set myself up as a character consultant.
I can say things like: “Jake wouldn’t agree with that! What the hell man. His grandfather was a toymaker in Dresden!”
Or: “Elaine can’t do a backflip, her inner ear was removed at birth. You should know that! It totally relates to her success in hedge fund management.”
I know, like everytime I’m eating lunch and I look out the window and usually reading bukowski or something, and I’m like “man I have a good novel ready” and I get 800 words in and just stop. I’ve done that dozens of times. I think finishing something, even if you think it’s shit, is worth it.
Ha! Yeah I’m going to try. I’m damn well going to write it right the fuck now…I’m not even procrastinating for the last hour…on top of it for sure. No for real though.
Funny you like Bukowski, too. Maybe Bukowski is the patron author of bloggers. Seems to fit. I read some of “Betting on the Muse” a couple days ago and loved it. Going to read some more soon…maybe before I start this next bit of this story.
I feel like I can learn a lot from you after every post. I’m glad I follow.
Thanks man. Glad I follow you as well. PS fuck that BPOC.