Got A Whole Lot to Show For It

Good evening ya’ll. Just hanging out. Just finished a bunch of work. Just sitting under a blanket on the couch and being like ho no bitches ain’t look at my blog yesterday. Tomorrow I am off and I’m going to breakfast with my in-laws. Then some more work for this old guy. I did a bunch today, yesterday, and the day before, trying to catch up and pay off the time debt. On all those days, plus the days that my good friend was here, I haven’t written any fiction. I wrote four or five thousand words on the day before all that shit went down, but I am past due. I don’t know I might be able to get it in today. I went to the gym again today, first time since last Saturday, but the third or fourth time in two weeks, so I’ll be in it soon enough. I went hard. I am starting to get tired of listening to Marc Maron. Nothing he did, just cycles you know. I listened to the Allie Brosh episode. I was so excited to see that she was on there because I love Hyperbole and a Half. I am glad she is doing well, even though she has had a lot of fucked up things happen to her and she is clinically depressed. By doing well I guess I mean still living. That is really the only thing to do at the end of the day, anyway, like The Preacher in Ecclesiastes said. You can figure it all out but in the end you’re going to die like a common fool. So eat, drink, and be merry all the days of your life. Still ain’t drinking. I ordered a beer at a place and got through half of it. I hated to do it but I didn’t want to finish it so I left it. Now my wife only finished half of her beer at home and I fought the urge to just chug it because I actually don’t even want it. I been drinking like three times as much coffee though. I was listening to Marc and Allie talk about letting one thing slip and then not being able to stomach their to-do list any more. Reminds me of whenever the phone rings I ignore it and then dread returning the call for two weeks and then finally do it and it’s fine but I just wasted two weeks. So I said well, I used to know this girl who was like that, and I said fuck it I’m not going to do that shit any more, I’m going to pay off the time debt to work. I’m going to catch up on that old man’s work and I’m going to call my parents and do all the things like a mother fucking adult. But not too hard, because that’s the key to me I think, just try a little bit over a long period of time. Fuck it. I’m living the fucking dream out here for real now. I was running today at the gym and I thought, this is it man, this is what I’m going to remember, some fucked up day. I keep trying to pay down these bills but when they’re all paid down if I haven’t enjoyed my life I won’t feel any different after that. Or maybe I will, because I make a good amount of money that I just throw down the debt drain every month so…who knows. But anyway. My good friend and I watched some fucked up movies while he was here – The HustlerDr. Strangelove, and Chinatown. Don’t watch those three back to back! Hoo wee. I ain’t been reading as much. I been listening to WTF non stop. Time to chill the fuck out. Cut the throttle back. Suck my own dick for a change. It’s hard to write here now, but then I try to write something helpful and it’s even harder. This is year three of the blog and the last two years I went hard on it for two months out of each year. Well I’ll try to at least get three out of it. Damn I am sore. Who wee but no for real though I actually am just about the happiest I ever been in my adult life…because when I was a kid though, that was happiness. Like a real little kid though. Too little to remember. Butter and bread I’m hardly dead time to move on and listen to a Jimmy McMillan track. I been listening to The Bends now. It’s good, too. And this Drake song 0 to 100. I cannot wake up early to save a mother fucker’s life. I went to the Spring Street Starbucks today. That shit was nuts. I say “that shit was nuts” a lot now. I never used to say nuts so…I wish I still didn’t. Wearing slippers and gray sweats every single night. Glasses all fucked up. Soon as I get some cash I’m getting some new ones. Waste of $230. Money’s still a thing but only for a little while. Well anyway I am going to try to write some fiction before my wife finishes her school work…oh damn…she literally just finished as I finished that sentence. Tomorrow I’ll get it in. And next week is light. Maybe I will come through with some kind of hot post for ya’ll. Yeah it will be so hot your computer will start sweating like a Long Island Ice Tea in a 24-hour Tijuana dive bar.

3 thoughts on “Got A Whole Lot to Show For It

  1. “…it will be so hot your computer will start sweating like a Long Island Ice Tea in a 24-hour Tijuana dive bar.”– why the hell haven’t you been writing lately? You’re one of the bloggers who secure my faith in blogging…

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