So damn bright these days in the morning. My life is a calm and tepid puddle somewhere in the unused parking lot of a superannuated mental hospital.
If I could be excited about anything right now, I would be excited about being a part of Conceited Crusade. I was sure I’d slipped from one bizarre dream into the next when I was awoken by one of the world’s last great bloggers, the inimitable and elusive Fred Colton. I wasn’t even angry that he drank the last of the bottle of Don Papa I had been clutching in my sleep.
He wiped his mouth and tossed the bottle into the pile in the corner. “Babe says you’re OK.”
“Yeah? Haven’t heard from her in a while.” I tried to reconcile Fred’s tuxedoed aura against the funereal closet I apparently treated as a bedroom. “Is it Friday night already?”
“Clean up this mess,” he suggested, pointing at me. “Give me a call.” He handed me a card.
It smelled like fermented cologne. I looked up at him.
“Nevermind that,” he said. “Chicks dig it.”
Anyone's Ghost 
I think you got Fred’s essence perfectly.
Welcome to the team, by the way.
Thanks twice, Sam! Looking forward to your next post!
“My life is a calm and tepid puddle somewhere in the unused parking lot of a superannuated mental hospital.”
Excellent.
Thanks, Stephen!
one of my favorite bloggers right here…
Back at you, homie.
Hey Flanders, watcha doing?
No, really! Where did you go? WordPress is boring without you! How is the book going?
Hey! Thanks for thinking of me 🙂 Book is going really well. I been trying to use the energy I usually spend talking about myself to write about other things, so there goes my blog material. How’s things with you?
Things with me are pretty chipper, except for the fact I’m crossing the Atlantic in a few hours. I’m still investing in that worthy cause of writing all about myself 😉
Haha as you should be! Enjoy your romp around the states! Among our chief attractions are air conditioning everywhere and lots of ice cubes in every drink.
Have to agree with pickledsparklymoosequeen here, where the fuck are you Flanders?! WordPress is that less entertaining without your well placed irony and bad language. If you are about to finish a Pulitzer Prize winning novel– well fuck you but we’ll sod off. but first you have to confirm that is what’s keeping you occupied.
Hey! Thanks for your kind words. No Pulitzer Prize material, but I’m making progress. You’ve been writing a shit-ton since you revealed your secret identity. Going to be a while before I catch up. How’s tricks?
I’ve been ill now better that’s all. Fuck, I decided I’m in my forties, I’m mortal after all. You still writing on the Conceited Crusade blog? I sent you an email. Maybe you didn’t get it.
Yo, email received and to which replied. Hell yeah I’m down to write. Let’s get famous and walk around like Anna Wintour.
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Flanders! I must have missed your pingback. This is legendary. You got an LOL out of me with “fermented cologne.” Come back and post with us soon again, OK partner?
Hey man glad you liked it! I’ll come up with a post for the Crusade soon if you haven’t kicked me out for dereliction of duty yet.