Standing Up in the Solipsism

So damn bright these days in the morning. My life is a calm and tepid puddle somewhere in the unused parking lot of a superannuated mental hospital.

If I could be excited about anything right now, I would be excited about being a part of Conceited Crusade. I was sure I’d slipped from one bizarre dream into the next when I was awoken by one of the world’s last great bloggers, the inimitable and elusive Fred Colton. I wasn’t even angry that he drank the last of the bottle of Don Papa I had been clutching in my sleep.

He wiped his mouth and tossed the bottle into the pile in the corner. “Babe says you’re OK.”

“Yeah? Haven’t heard from her in a while.” I tried to reconcile Fred’s tuxedoed aura against the funereal closet I apparently treated as a bedroom. “Is it Friday night already?”

“Clean up this mess,” he suggested, pointing at me. “Give me a call.” He handed me a card.

It smelled like fermented cologne. I looked up at him.

“Nevermind that,” he said. “Chicks dig it.”

19 thoughts on “Standing Up in the Solipsism

  1. Have to agree with pickledsparklymoosequeen here, where the fuck are you Flanders?! WordPress is that less entertaining without your well placed irony and bad language. If you are about to finish a Pulitzer Prize winning novel– well fuck you but we’ll sod off. but first you have to confirm that is what’s keeping you occupied.

  2. Pingback: an interview with one of the world’s last great bloggers | listen to the babe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s