This week’s prompt is Nicolas Cage.

How did he make it? I don’t know. I don’t know a damned thing about Nicolas Cage. I’m sure not going to research the man. Is he a man? Who cares. Not a question. Does he brush his own teeth? Has he ever tasted parrot?

Dear Nicolas Cage

You have a good name. I remember seeing you in a magazine when I was a kid. The title of the article was “Nicolas Uncaged.”

Guess what? You can go fuck yourself.

Happy Fourth,

Gordon Flanders

Why do I hate Nicolas Cage? His sister, if he has one, probably robbed me last night. I know it was her because my front door was still ajar when I got home.