Happy Independence Day You Needy Creep

Check out this post about Nicolas Cage’s sister totally swiping my first edition of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart.

Conceited Crusade

This week’s prompt is Nicolas Cage.

How did he make it? I don’t know. I don’t know a damned thing about Nicolas Cage. I’m sure not going to research the man. Is he a man? Who cares. Not a question. Does he brush his own teeth? Has he ever tasted parrot?

Dear Nicolas Cage

You have a good name. I remember seeing you in a magazine when I was a kid. The title of the article was “Nicolas Uncaged.”

Guess what? You can go fuck yourself.

Happy Fourth,

Gordon Flanders

Why do I hate Nicolas Cage? His sister, if he has one, probably robbed me last night. I know it was her because my front door was still ajar when I got home.

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