Writer’s Toolbox: Machine Screw

Didn’t I tell you about this post? Nope. Anyway. You already know what it is. More writing advice fo yo ass!

Conceited Crusade

Having trouble writing anything good this week? Don’t worry about it. Use this method to loosen up and stop caring whether you’re “good” at writing. Lucky for you it doesn’t even matter.

First thing you got to do is have sex with someone. Could be someone you know, could be a relative, doesn’t really matter. Have sex and do it in a comfortable place so that you can do step two without hurting your neck.

Step two is fall asleep. Shouldn’t be too hard if you’ve done step one correctly.

Third, wake up around 2 AM. Don’t set an alarm, just tell your mind to wake you up and then trust yourself. You’re mind is a powerful tool that you should be using to the fullest extent at all times.

Step four, prick your finger with something that’s at least pretty clean.

Use your bleeding finger to write on a…

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2 thoughts on “Writer’s Toolbox: Machine Screw

  1. I seem to have problems with ‘liking’ and commenting on conceited crusade…it’s provably my blog reader having an aneurysm, but anyway I like the ritual you came up with for writing better. I suspect I’d have to do this every night and then die from blood loss before I actually got better though. I refrain from my instinct to comment about subsequent ghost writing. Ah crap, it’s already out. Sorry.

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