I am angry that we are not eating pie. I am viscerally fucking disgusted that we are not eating fucking pie. Who arranged this shit. Who can I direct my anger towards! The whole of life.

No, no, that’s ridiculous. I’m not angry about the pie. I am very, very sad about the pie. I am in the pit of despair about the whole of life and the possibility of the whole thing continuing for another day.

What can I tell you about anything? Expect everything. It’s all going to befall you and there won’t be a thing you can do about it. Stop making plans. You aren’t going anywhere this summer. Don’t be an idiot. Stay in bed and wait for death like a human being.

As for me I’ll stay in my chair, gnawing at the bedrock beneath the guilt and regrets of this decade. And there’s no use crying now, if you haven’t already started. There won’t be any pie in the great black void below the earth.