Man I saw the trap coming and I still fell in. Nassim Taleb said that if he woke up in the morning and knew what was going to happen that day he’d feel a little dead.

I don’t know how it happened, I tried to follow my bliss. I just worked on ebook stuff I thought that would be enough. I’m making ebooks again for money. Not writing them, just making them.

Now my stomach hurts like a mother fucker, I been sitting all day, and I have to leave here and go to work and I ain’t even dressed and the cats ain’t even been played with and so now I have to feel bad about that, too. Damn damn damn. No escape. Feels like I’m rewriting a post from 2014.

Taleb also wrote that there are people for whom life is a project, and these people make one feel nauseous. I guess I treat my life like a project and it always seems never to be getting anywhere. I would try to enjoy it for what it is, but I hate my job, and it seems I’m always at my job. I don’t really hate my job while I’m there. I hate that I’m wasting time there. I hate thinking about it. And I hate a lot of the people I wait on.

How to get out of the whole cycle? I don’t know, I don’t know! I guess I just need to get through one hour at a time. Just push through, it’ll all be over soon. Everything will all be over.