Fucking Cats Jesus Christ

Remember I wrote a long time ago about how people have pets and kids because then someone has to love them. And pets don’t ask you dumbass questions when you come home drunk.

I been quarantined with my two cats in a small apartment and I really hate these motherfuckers. I know that makes me a bad person.

I’m moving to a new place soon. I hope I will like them again then.

They are always crying and shit. I feed them five times a day and clean up their shit and sometimes they vomit. I don’t think there’s anything I touch more than the cat food in all it’s forms.

They jump on you when you’re super stressed the fuck out and instead of being like aw thanks I’m like get the FUCK OUT OF HERE. I don’t yell at them because I’m nice so I just put them on the ground and that’s hard enough as it’s a disappointment to them, but god damn these mother fuckers will be the death of me.

They’re fighting, which really makes it terrible, because I have to keep them separated. I always have to have one of the rooms of the tiny apartment closed up. They’re always trying to escape, too, and the one is like a fucking predatory goat as in he eats everything. But ironically he also has a stomach condition so if he eats anything besides his expensive ass prescription cat food he throws up.

They’ve been fighting for a year now.

My computer is about to die right now but I won’t go in the other room to get my charger because the super crazy one is in there and he will be crying his ass of because he eats every day at 10 PM and it’s 9:44.

I always wanted to stay home all day, but I never thought I’d be doing it with everyone else at the same time.

4 thoughts on “Fucking Cats Jesus Christ

  1. Yesterday, I had to physically turn one cat’s ass so that it was over the litterbox and HOLD HIM THERE so he wouldn’t shit on the kitchen floor AGAIN. The other one can’t have a meal without purging half of it like he’s 1990’s Kate Moss.

    I feel ya.

  2. Jow are you now?.I hope is going better. I know about a life with cats because some time ago I had 4 kittens at home. Now they live in my garden and that is good for me and for them too. 😊

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