Here’s Those Giraffe Thoughts I Was Telling You About

It seems like I am missing out on my life or something like that. Look at this fucking giraffe for instance.

This picture shows a stamped kind of graffiti on the pavement depicting a giraffe riding a bicycle to hilarious effect.

Here is a giraffe.

This mother fucker does not give a fuck. She’s just seconds away from crashing into that crazy ass rat thing in front of her and she could not eternally give a fuck less about it.

That’s the kind of shit I want to do. Instead I think and think about shit constantly and then I get on WordPress and write things that I thought and hope people will like the things so that I don’t have to do anything in my actual life. Not like this fucking giraffe. You think she ever put some shit on WordPress? No fucking way. Mother fucker is like, bitch I’m a giraffe, I ride bicycles, get the fuck out of here alrrrright?

The Difference Between Me and Kim Kardashian

NY Lotto claims to make New Yorkers rich.
Here is an urban setting with a building and a NY lotto advertisement that claims to make New Yorkers rich.

That Wall Street game tho

I’m getting really good at typing shit on my phone. It is an ideal writing method because I can write anywhere and, unlike with a laptop, I can hold the phone so that people can’t read what I’m writing.

I want everyone to read what I’ve written, but unlike Sal Paradise, I don’t want anyone to watch what I’m writing.

I can’t write when people might be watching because I always play to the audience. Any audience will do. I change everything from my voice and cadence to my opinions. Why? The simplest answer may be true, and that answer is that I’m seeking approval all the time. There may be a deeper answer.

But let’s not delve at this time.

People say that everyone is basically the same, that we focus on what makes us different from one another, but the sum of those differences is very minute compared to what makes us the same.

Who knows.

I like to think that I am special, even if it means that what makes me special is that I am the biggest attention whore the world has ever seen. The difference between me and Kim Kardashian is motivation, body measurements, and pretty much a lot of things but if I wasn’t lazy and was smarter and beautiful I would do what Kim Kardashian is doing. I want everyone to look at me all the time.

Well, except when I’m writing.