Word Hangover

Dude I got so many posts coming out of me right now, it feels like I drank too many words last night. Many too many words last night. Shit to be honest I was losing my voice last night, talking about the goddamn specials all the time. It’s funny because I would usually lie about that.

Mother fucking FUCK y’all I’m tired of fucking around all the time!

Nah just kiddin’ y’all that’s what I DO.

Anyway I got a new plan, it has to do with slippers. I lay in my bed, typing shit, and whenever I get out of bed, I put the slippers on.

So my feet don’t get cold and I don’t step on cat shit absorbing crumbs.

If I fall asleep while typing, which I usually do any time I actually try to write fiction, no big deal, it looks like I did it on purpose.

I’m going out tonight, y’all, maybe for the last time…

I’m going to try to maintain control! That’s something I never done before.

Get ready for tomorrow’s super ashamed what have I fucking DONE post yo! It’s going to be very similar to everything you’ve ever read on here before! You goin’ be like damn why do I still read this shittttt and I’m going to be like becAWWWZ you so CRAZY! Me and you both we can’t stop doing this same shit yo!

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Can you do…NO! NO I CAN’T!

When people question me about my work, I am very defensive.

In life, I am usually mellow, albeit moody. I can usually put on a tranquil front at least. Usually I can do some deep breathing. I can feel the tightness of my shoes on my feet and remain in the present moment.

But when someone says, why does this character do that? Or, why doesn’t this ebook work on my phone? Or, how can I print this ebook out in a different way? Then I suddenly tense up and get super annoyed and answer quickly and defensively.

What I’m going to do about that? I don’t know. Shit’s annoying as hell.

I been drinking black coffee. Not today! I’m through with all that; there’s more to living than not dying.

I think there was a drug in the Franzen novel Freedom called Mexico that made people feel zero guilt. Am I remembering that right? I would take that drug! At least once in a while.

Guilt guilt guilt!

Anyways. Like I said before, discomfort = good! No drinking today! Dealing with the guilt head on, hand to hand, face to face, dick to dick and pussy to pussy.

Pachow! Don’t ask me any questions about the way I formatted this post. I will karate chop a nearby object or organism.