I’m Working On Creative Type Shit Y’all

Today I worked on my Trapper John story. I posted my first draft on Hijacked Amygdala a few months ago or something like that, thinking that I would never get around to revising it. As I stared at it again I couldn’t imagine how to begin.

Dave Kingsbury posted a George Saunders piece a while back which talks about just trying to make a sentence better and better out of respect for the reader.

Perhaps I lack respect for my audience, and maybe that has to do with my warped view of humanity, brought about in part by the bullshit that goes on at the restaurant.

So this all ties in to my idea of feeling kindness towards others, no matter how stupid they are and things like that.

Not to say that you’re stupid for reading this, of course! Present company excluded, as we say! Ahem!

Anyway, Saunders talks about how things happen when you slowly try to improve small pieces of the greater work. Maybe I will eventually find something about this story that makes it worth reading.

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As it stands, there are two very funny scenes, so if I could just make those work in some kind of context…or even better make the rest of the story as good as those two scenes, then we’ll be on to something.

And if I can figure out how to make pictures and text work together, we’ll be onto something good with this whole picture thing, too.

Four Years of WordPress

The inner censor has really gained control these last few weeks. With my little notebook I sit somewhere and try to make sense of the thoughts in my head and only write down that little bit of sense. It’s easier on the wrist, that’s for sure. Even now I’m thinking of going back and erasing “thoughts in my head” since that’s kind of redundant. Where else are the thoughts going to be? Also, strange that we experience all our feelings physical and emotional in our brain but assign it to different parts of our body. My hands don’t really feel the keys, but I associate the feeling generated in my brain with my hands so that it seems to me that I really do feel with my hands.

Today I got an award from WordPress: happy anniversary! I was like WTF? It appears I’ve had a WordPress account for four years. FOUR YEARS. I can’t imagine what would be going on in life if i had just posted once a day for four years. Probably nothing much different I suppose.

It’s funny that the WordPress spellcheck does not recognize the word WordPress.

I think I have too high expectations of each day. I always feel like I should be the best at everything, but really I’m not ready to put in that work, or that’s what I tell myself, when really I work harder than most people, just not as hard as some people, and that’s what kills me I guess.