Dudes Love Dicks

I was talking to a fellow bartender the other day, a woman, who said she isn’tĀ interested in male comedians because four out of five of them base their jokes on penises.

Then I looked at this story I just wrote and there’s a dream where the guy sees flies on his penis. And I’m always talking about sucking my own dick.

I guess I’m obsessed with my penis. I don’t mind, I’m just mad I didn’t notice until now.

Then yesterday I read this interview with Mary Karr, a memoirist who I need to check out. In it there was this bit:

MK: You can ask me about my relationship with David Wallace all you like; I’m not going to talk about his penis.

NYT: That’s one of the least interesting things about any man, really.

MK: If only they knew that.

Ha! Shit I had no idea. Well I guess I’ll stop bringing up my penis all the time.

And I guess I’ll stop watching porn all the time based on this bit from Mary Karr in the same interview:

I’ve also never Googled myself. It wouldn’t occur to me to do so. It’s the same reason I don’t watch pornography. It’s not that I occupy some moral high ground. I just think: Down that road lies madness.

I never thought about it, though probably obvious to enlightened persons, but porn is probably damaging to the psyche. I was just so happy to watch porn after throwing off the mantle of Christian guilt.

I guess I’ll thinkĀ cut that shit out!

But I ain’t gonna stop drinkin’, no matter what Mary Karr says about it.