My New Novel Idea

Ben and Lucas were in a cafe near the White House. Ben had his feet on the table. Lucas was drumming on his thighs.

Lucas said, “I know exactly what I’m going to do.”

Ben said, “Those aren’t words you hear very often.”

“I’m going to drive a fast car from here to California.”


“Yeah, nevermind. I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

“Those are words you hear very often.”

“Dammit I want to do something!”

“Do anything, as long as it’s not boring.”

“That’s the problem!”

“Why do you always shout?”

“I don’t need this shit.” Lucas got up and walked outside.

Brian paid the bill and followed. He said, “Hey look, we’re two guys, right? Able bodied. Hetero sexual. Pretty good looking. Have normal traits. You know what we should do?”


“Not be in a fucking book.”