Last night I went to a concert where different people got on stage and sang Nirvana songs. It was like they didn’t even like Nirvana, half of them. They didn’t even know the lyrics. It was pretty awful at first. And I had brought my wife along. We were out on a Saturday night together with a friend of mine. This hasn’t happened in years. I couldn’t believe it was happening, and then I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I told my wife to drink up, but she didn’t. I did, and I blacked out around three AM after another friend showed up with shots.
I woke up in the morning all disoriented and my wife told me that I was “fine with everyone else but mean to her”, which is apparently what I “always do”. Then I felt and now I feel horrible about the whole thing.
I know I wasn’t being mean to her before I blacked out, so whatever happened if it happened happened in the car home or at home.
I fell back asleep and woke up around the time I was supposed to be at work and she had done all the chores and made me coffee and put food in the fridge for the cats.
Then I felt even worse about it.
I guess we should just break up. I don’t know. I can’t handle this guilt. Always with the guilt guilt guilt Jesus Christ am I that bad?
I texted her to see what happened but she won’t tell me, which is perfect because that makes me feel even more guilty.
I almost suspect that’s her plan. Because I’m supposed to go out tonight, which I rarely do, and I was planning to get wild, but now I’ll probably try to keep it together and come home at a reasonable hour.
Oh well I don’t know. That’s what I get for trying to include her. I guess. I am immobilized by guilt and nausea.
Anyone's Ghost 
Those guilt bombs leave you completely ruined, don’t they. I’ve been there.
Yeah for sure. Thanks for the commiseration!
Maybe couples therapy is in order…
I would do it but I don’t want to be the one to bring it up.
Why not?
Because if she doesn’t think there’s a problem I don’t want her to think that I think that there’s a problem.
Ah. I’d wager that you both know there’s a problem but are hoping that if you both ignore it, it will magically get better. But I understand your hesitation. I know how difficult it is to acknowledge that everything is not okay.
As always, I would not bet against you!
Haha! I just know from personal experience
Plot twist: you didn’t actually do anything mean at all…?
Right? I wouldn’t be surprised. So far she’s told me that I didn’t want to go home and was acting like she was a buzzkill, and I didn’t apologize when I accidentally hit her while trying to open the elevator door for her. Sounds mean, but not that mean.
Yeah if someone accidentally hits me and refuses to apologise, they’ve got a big problem.
What if they’re shit-faced and married to you though? Well, anyways, now I feel guilty again thanks. I don’t remember it, so I’m going to assume she made it all up.
Guilt wasn’t my aim, but I know if I’m tired and fed up I’ll get pissed off much easier. Husband or no. Apparently it’s not fun to try and drag a drunk person home when they’re having a whale of a time and the other person isn’t … they can be….resistant..I wouldn’t know because that lingering drunkard used to be me and I could never see why it was a problem at the time or the next morning.